Christmas markets; a paradise for high sensitive people with panic attacks (not)

Every year, it’s the same routine: cheerfully tagging along with your in-laws to explore the Christmas markets in one of Europe’s major cities. And it lasts for an entire weekend. While the rest of the family marks this event as one of the highlights of the year, for me, as a highly sensitive person prone to panic attacks, it’s anything but enjoyable. Still, I try to join every year, using the exposure technique my psychologist taught me to face my fears and to maintain the bond with my family.

Large parts of the Christmas market route are packed with crowds. In those moments, my body goes into overdrive. The sensory overload makes it physically impossible for me to withstand the fears I’m experiencing. The panic peaks, especially after I’ve had coffee (caffeine) or something sugary to eat. I often focus on staying calm and trying not to let the anxiety take over. Ironically, the more I think about it, the worse it becomes.

This triggers a flight response in my body.

AEverything around me becomes blurry, the noises grow louder, and I start searching for a place to calm down—an impossible feat in the hustle and bustle of the market. To soothe my anxiety, I find it comforting to hold onto something. If I don’t have a water bottle or anything else to grip, I quickly grab onto my girlfriend’s arm as we walk. She probably thinks I’m doing this as a gesture of affection, but in reality, it’s a way to suppress my fears.

In those moments, I should really tell her that I’m having a panic attack, but for some reason, that feels incredibly difficult. It’s as if I’m trapped in my own world, unable to talk about it. I usually manage to say something only after the worst has passed. Then I can finally admit, “I just had another one, but luckily it’s better now.”

How do I manage to cope with a panic attack?

Sometimes, I’m able to remind myself that the feeling will pass on its own. Additionally, I try to lean into the feeling and really experience it, even though this feels counterintuitive. After all, you’re already overwhelmed by everything you’re feeling. However, surrendering to the sensations is more effective than staying stuck in your head. Overthinking only makes the situation worse.

From experience, I know this approach is nearly impossible in the beginning. It’s easy to say it, but much harder to do. Still, you need to persevere! Understand that panic attacks won’t disappear overnight. It took me years to find even a small amount of peace. They still happen, but they’re shorter and less frequent now. That said, they can still be intense at times. So, I’m far from being “done” with this process. Who knows, maybe a year from now I’ll read this and realize I’ve made even more progress.